Letting Go
by Jordan Lewes
Summary: Nate's recovery after he escapes from the Russian Mafia. The only way to heal is too let go of and forget everything that they did too him.  But he's not sure he can do either one.
1. Helpless

"Sophie leaned down and whispered in his ear: "Nate! Nate it's ok. It's ok. I'm here. I'm here."

"Sophie? …" He managed through the fits of screaming.

"Yes. It's me. Your safe." She whispered. Sophie lay her hand on his forehead, and caressed his hair as a mother would do to her child. "Your safe." She assured him. The tangent calmed to mumbling.

They took risks with every con. There wasn't one of them that was ignorant about that. And at first the con had gone smoothly. But they should have know better than to try and double cross the Russian Mafia. It had taken them half a year to find Nate, and by they had -he was a completely different person. While he had tried to assure them that he was fine, it was obvious to the rest of the crew that the opposite was true.

He'd become withdrawn and lifeless. He hadn't said a word about anything that had happened. But she'd seen the scars,(by accident), that covered his back as if they were flesh themselves. Sophie had taken the initiative to seek professional help herself. A doctor had prescribed sleeping pills, when she had explained the situation and how Nate hadn't been able to sleep since it happened.

But Nate had refused to take them. She was desperate to help him. So (after consulting with Elliot, Parker, and Haridson) she boldly crushed up some of the pills into a glass of whiskey. That was a risk in itself. She knew that when Nate finally woke up he'd know what she had done. Sophie hoped that he would understand why she did it. But she knew it was wishful thinking. She couldn't worry about that now Over the last couple of hours she had gained entrance into Nathan Ford's personal hell. Every couple of minute he would enter into horrid fits. She knew he was reliving the sixth month night mare. And she felt so helpless…

"He's gonna be wakin up soon you know that right?" Sophie looked up too see Hardison standing in the doorway of Nate's room. "Those pills only last four to six hours."

"Yeah. I know, I just keep hoping that maybe he'll be able to sleep through the night."

"Don't count on it."

"Was there something you wanted Hardison?" She asked him bluntly.

"I was just checking to see how you were. We could hear him screaming."

"I don't know what to do… I just feel so -"

"Helpless?"

"Yes." She looked from Hardison to Nate who was sleeping in a blanket of sweat.

"Soph- you've done everything humanly possible that you could to try and help Nate over the past couple of weeks. But he was right you know."

Sophie tried to hold back her tears: "Right about what?"

"That none of us could understand the hell that he went through over there….only Nate knows. And the only way that he can become the old Nathan Ford is by letting all the crap go. And that's something that he has to do on his own."


	2. Reflection

For the last fifteen minutes the fits had ceased as well as the mumbling. At loss for what too do in the middle of one of the worse episodes Sophie had taken his hand in hers. Much to her own surprise it had calmed him instantly. So, that's where they were now. The wooden chair she had pulled from the table downstairs was beginning to get stiff, but Sophie dared not move. She leaned her head against the wall and looked down at him. It had been over six hours, she'd been tempted to feed him another dose, but she resisted the urge and let things take their natural course. Maybe he would sleep through the night after all.

For a second she remembered what he had been like the first time their paths had crossed. Before Maggie left him, and before the death of his son. It wasn't that she had forgotten, but every once in a while (when left to her own thoughts) it crossed her mind. The thing that had always attracted her about him was that he had always been "the good guy". Two years ago while Nathan Ford (then insurance agent) had been chasing , she had tried flirting with him he had flashed his wedding ring in her face. Maybe if there had been more people like Nathan Ford in her life-but there was no point in chasing after all the maybe's and could- have- been's.

Outside of the flat, the sun was beginning to set over Chicago creating a canvas of thick deep orange, and soon Sophie fell asleep to the music of the city that was below them.


	3. Let's Get Things Straight

Nate woke up with a start, and relief consumed him when he realized he was in his own apartment. The reality of his night mare had convinced him that the last couple weeks had been a delusion. FA mirror across from him disclosed that he was still wearing the navy blue button down shirt, and the pare of dark jeans that he had been wearing -but he stopped. How long had he been out? And why didn't he remember crawling into bed?

He spun around and looked at the clock beside the bed. 6:50pm. From down stairs he heard Hardison. It was the same tone he used whenever Hardison was briefing them on a client. They were working a con? Nate walked out of his room. The medal steps felt cold against his bare feet.

"Looks like we're goin to Iowa."

"Ooo I've never been Iowa." Parker squealed.

"Sorry, but why are we going to Iowa?" They all looked up, gawking, afraid to speak as if glass would shatter if they did.

"Parker- she uh- found us a client."

"Madison Tyler." Then Parker added more slowly: " from Iowa."

"And when were you going to check this by me?" Nate questioned.

Elliot, Parker, and Hardison looked to Sophie. "Sophie thought it wouldn't be a good idea to wake you up." Elliot assured him. Nate glared at Sophie (who didn't look guilty just concerned).

"She did?" He walked to the back of the sofa so that he was standing in between where Sophie and Parker were sitting down. "Well, go ahead and continue.."

"Actually, I was just finishing up. Maybe Sophie can fill you in because I've got this thing I have to go too-" He shut the laptop that was sitting on his lap and nervously stood to his feet.

"Thing what thing?"

"A thing…"

"I was actually going to start teaching him some self defense methods." Elliot jumped up from his seat. "Boy needs to learn how to fight for himself." Hardison frowned.

"Who are you callin boy?" He asked Elliot. Nate watched as Elliot pushed Hardison ahead of him towards the front door of Nate's flat.

"Come on." Elliot barked. Parker jumped up then.

"I wanna watch.." She chased after them.

They left, and Sophie and Nate were alone.

"Since when do you start making decisions about me, for me?" Nate asked her.

"We're all concerned for you Nate. And I didn't think you were ready to take on a job…"

"Alright I'm going to tell you two things…and I don't want to have to repeat myself so you better listen closely. First. I'm a big boy and I can take care of myself. And second, if you ever drug me again….and I mean ever, then I'm pulling the plug on this whole operation." He was up in her face at this point. And Sophie did her best to keep quiet. "Am I clear?"

"Crystal." She spat back. Sophie stood to her full height, and without giving him another look, walked out.


End file.
